The First Six Months: Letting Go of Work
When I first stepped into retirement, it didn’t feel real. For six months, I still found myself thinking I should be checking emails and texts, as though my old team might need me. After years of being “on call,” it was difficult to accept that no one was waiting for my input. Letting go of the responsibility, and the constant adrenaline that came with it, was harder than I had imagined.
When the Adrenaline Stopped
Not long after, I began experiencing what I later learned were panic attacks. At the time, it felt as though my body didn’t know how to function without the stress it had grown used to. I’d lived on adrenaline for so long that, when it suddenly had nowhere to go, it turned inward. The transition from high pressure to open space was jarring.
Searching for What’s Next
Like many new retirees, I threw myself into projects. I dabbled with starting an eCommerce store and tried filling my time with different activities. Each attempt kept me busy for a while, but none of them gave me the sense of ease or purpose I was looking for.
A Gentle Shift at the Garden Center
The turning point came when I took a part-time job at a local garden center. Three days a week, I clocked in and clocked out—no late-night emails, no problems to carry home. Instead, I found myself surrounded by plants, fresh air, and people who created a genuinely friendly atmosphere. It was exactly the balance I needed: structure without stress, commitment without pressure.
Learning to Settle In
Over the years, I’ve come to accept that my retirement will never be perfectly still. I enjoy movement, variety, and connection too much to sit quietly on the sidelines. Recently, I’ve begun to travel more, exploring new places and experiences at my own pace.
Retirement as a Journey
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that retirement isn’t about arriving at some perfect lifestyle; it’s about experimenting, adjusting, and allowing yourself to grow into a new rhythm. Slowly, and in my own way, I’m finding my path forward.